Devincible.com

A Clerihew on Howard Hughes, Inspired By The Recent Movie The Aviator

Howard Hughes
did not drink booze.
He preferred to damage his brain
by crashing his plane.

Nine Ways To Kill 173 Minutes That Will Be More Pleasurable Than Watching Oliver Stone's "Alexander"

Last night, I committed the error of watching the Oliver Stone movie "Alexander." If you are contemplating the same rash action, might I suggest that you take your 173 minutes and do one of the following things instead? I guarantee that you will enjoy yourself more.

Watch High Noon, Duck Soup, Fast Film, Luxo, Jr, and Creature Comforts, and still have 1 minute left over to watch two really good commercials.

Solve 173 one-minute mysteries, thereby forever ridding the world of penguin-eating polar bears and coins dated "173 BC".

]]> Run 29 four-minute miles, rest for a minute, and then run 14 more.

Track down Anthony Hopkins and ask him to read out loud from a biography of Alexander the Great for remaining time. (Note: May be impractical if Anthony Hopkins lives more than 173 minutes away from you.)

Play the minute waltz. Repeat 172 times.

Using the simple, practical techniques outlined in The One Minute Millionaire, earn $173 million.

Take 90 minutes to make somebody love you forever and use the remaining 83 minutes to make a second person love you for 92.2% of forever.

Spend one minute managing, 20 minutes getting the garden of your dreams without giving up your sanity, 10 minutes training the perfect gun dog, one minute being a father, five minutes getting the truth in any conversation or situation, 21 minutes revitalizing your spirit and empowering your leadership, one minute selling people on yourself, your services, your products, or your ideas, at work or in life, three minutes changing school supervisory practices one teacher at a time, 15 minutes starting, revising, and finishing your doctoral thesis, 10 minutes learning Chinese, 15 minutes understanding the Bible, four minutes having a neurological exam, three minutes clinically referencing a nurse, one minute achieving prosperity and enlightenment, 8 minutes achieving a flat tummy, 8 minutes getting lean hips and flat thights, 7 minutes banishing spot fat ,5 minutes becoming wrinkle-free forever,one minute meeting a monkey, 20 minutes making a meal for an idiot, 8 minutes using the science of influence to convince anybody to say "Yes,", five minutes achieving orgasm, and one minute apologizing.

Trim your toenails for 30 seconds. Watch your toenails grow for 172 minutes. Trim them again.

Even New and Improveder Devincible.com

Devincible.Com has now switched to a new hosting service. Please let me know if any links are broken or lead to haunted webpages which will cause you to perish horribly within 24 hours.

If Mankind's Greatest Thoughts Had Been Communicated Via Spam

The price of liberty is eternal vigilence--THIS IS THE CHEAPEST PR1CE ON WEB!!!!!!!!!

All men are created equal! SEE THEMM BEING CREATED NOW! HOTTT XXX ACTION!

Herbal E=MC^2! UNLEASH 2.4 MEGATONS OF DYNAMITE EQUIVALENT OF ENERGY FROM THE AVERAGE 4-OZ C@CK!!!! TOTALLY ALLOWED UNDER LAWS OF NATURE!

Of Man's First Disobedience, and the Fruit
Of That Forbidden Tree, whose mortal tast
Brought Death into the World, and all our woe,
with loss of Eden, I offer UNCENSORED LIVE XXX FEEDS!

Hott horny housewives and co-eds! They will make you cumm l1ke a volcanoe!!!! Then they w1ll be un@able to f1nd a pl@ce in a m@le-dom1n@ted society as sexu@ally aware women and they will exp1@te their narrative s1ns through su1c1de!!!! Call now! Anna K, Madame B, and Tess of the D are waiting for you and THEY ARE TOTALLY STRIPPED OF PATRI@RCHAL SOÇIETY'S ARBITR@RY EXP3CTATIONS!!!!!!! HOT!!!!@@!$@!

Greetings, friend. I am Dr. Abraham Lincoln. Four score and seven years ago, my fathers created a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, and I need to transfer USD4,000,000 out of the country. In a larger sense, I cannot dedicate, I cannot consecrate, a new bank account, and so I must ask to use yours.

If you cut and paste this essay, please be sure to credit it to http://www.devincible.com

New, improved Devincible.com

I've started using MovableType for the front page at Devincible.com. There may be a bit of confusion while I switch things over; let me know if anything disappears.

The Amazing Retroactive Election Predictor

Thanks to the Amazing Retroactive Election Predictor, you can now convince your friends and neighbors that you called this election a month in advance.

Election Day Electoral Vote Guide

I've put up an election-day viewing guide to help you make sense of the results as they come in.

George Bush & The Constitution

I've added a new campaign ad to The Truth About John Kerry: George Bush and the Constitution.

The Fourth Debate

My second offering, The Fourth Debate, is now up and lookable.

Welcome to Devincible.com

Welcome to Devincible.com. I'm a comedy writer, a film maker, and a general man-about-town, if by "town" you mean "my apartment." Here, I will be posting things that don't quite fit in at my other site. These things will include essays, films, and works of utterly mind-blowing genius, if by "works of utterly mind-blowing genius" you mean "things that don't quite fit in at my other site."

For now, please check out my first offering: The Truth About John Kerry.

By the way, as you may have noticed, my webpage layout skills are among the worst in the world. If you are a trained monkey, a three-year-old child, or any other individual with better layout skills than mine, please drop me a note at webgenius at yankeefog dot com. If you love this site and would like to offer feedback, please contact me at feedback at yankeefog dot com. If you think I am a horrible person who deserves to be torn apart by dogs, please contact me at youdeservetobetornapartbydoggs at yankeefog dot com. Please notice the extra "g" in "doggs". If you leave it out, I won't get your e-mail, and I will continue blissfully living out my wild-dog-free existance.